By the end of this lesson, the student should:

(1) Understand the impact trauma has on a person.

(2) Find practical ways to help individuals cope with trauma in their life.

(3) Identify ways to intervene in cases of potential suicide.

► Each student should write or recite 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 from memory.

► Two or three students should share the outline they prepared for the Lesson 10 assignment.

During World War II, a small European village had a beautiful statue of Jesus standing in front of their cathedral. When a bomb fell nearby, the statute was shattered. After the war, the villagers carefully gathered the broken pieces and restored the statue. However, the hands were damaged beyond repair. Rather than attempting to replace Jesus’ hands, the villagers placed a plaque at the base of the statute that read, “I have no hands but your hands.”[1]

As believers, we are called to be the hands of Jesus in a broken world. We are called to walk alongside those who suffer and to be instruments of his compassion.

One of the most difficult places of ministry involves caring for victims of trauma. Those who have suffered severe trauma present unique challenges. Common causes of trauma include war, sexual or physical abuse, and abandonment or betrayal by a parent or spouse. Trauma often produces long-term effects such as fear, anger, guilt, shame, panic, and depression. It can also create intense spiritual struggle, especially when the trauma was inflicted by a professing Christian.

In this lesson, you will gain practical tools for ministering to trauma survivors. Much of this lesson was written by an experienced trauma counselor. She shares the story of Heather, a young lady who endured severe trauma. Through wise counselors, Heather found spiritual and emotional healing. Understanding her story can equip you to serve others during times of crisis.

When Heather arrived at Bible college at the age of 18, the staff immediately saw that she was different from her peers. Her anger often erupted in loud emotional outbursts. She was deeply fearful and would hide in a corner or crawl under furniture. She seemed almost childlike in her inability to control her emotions.

As the staff got to know her, they realized that Heather was intelligent and likable. However, she had endured repeated traumatic experiences throughout her childhood. Physical and sexual abuse by family members had stripped her sense of innocence and safety. Her parents’ drug and alcohol abuse led them to abandon Heather and her siblings.

As the oldest child, Heather attempted to protect her younger siblings by stealing food and trying to create some measure of security for them. Family members who were aware of the abuse failed to intervene, reinforcing Heather’s belief that she was not worth protecting.

Heather longed for love and safety. But because her childhood experiences had convinced her that people were unsafe, she responded to kindness with suspicion, anger, and fear. Trauma had shaped her understanding of the world.

► Reflect on your own ministry. Have you ever worked with someone who showed characteristics of trauma? If so, how were you able to help them?

Heather’s story illustrates several forms of trauma, but trauma can be much broader than her experience. This lesson is not intended to give an in-depth understanding of trauma counseling. Instead, it offers a basic understanding of trauma’s characteristics and effects. It also includes a few ideas of what you can do to help a person who is suffering from trauma.

What Is Trauma?[1]

Trauma is defined as an event that (1) results in physical or emotional harm, (2) threatens a person’s life, or (3) leaves someone trapped and unable to escape from danger. Trauma can arise from a single unexpected event, from repeated harmful experiences, or even from witnessing traumatic events happening to others.

Heather suffered not only from her own abuse but also from watching her siblings suffer.

Trauma is commonly categorized in three ways:

• Acute trauma results from a single event or a cluster of events that happen in a short period of time. With acute trauma, a person suffers an immediate and intense threat to their security or safety. Examples include war, assault, serious accidents, natural disasters, or the sudden death of a loved one.

• Chronic trauma develops from ongoing adversity and suffering. Examples include persistent criticism or shaming, emotional or physical neglect, long-term illness, discrimination, oppression, or harassment and bullying.

• Complex trauma involves multiple traumatic experiences that have a severe impact on a person’s emotional and mental health. As in Heather’s case, complex trauma may involve several types of suffering. Complex trauma often starts during childhood and affects the child’s development. The results of complex trauma may affect the person throughout the rest of their life.

What Are the Effects of Trauma on a Person?[2]

Trauma deeply affects a person’s identity and sense of self. It shapes how a person views themselves, others, and God. Trauma has lasting negative effects on:

• Mental and emotional health: Trauma may cause a lasting sense of helplessness and fear because a person no longer has confidence in their own safety.

• Physical health: Trauma may weaken the body’s immune system and make a person susceptible to illness.

• Social well-being: Because human relationships are no longer trustworthy, a person may become isolated from other people.

• Spiritual well-being: As emotional, physical, and social health is weakened, a person may begin to feel isolated from God.

In summary, trauma overwhelms a person’s ability to cope and produces lasting physical, mental, and emotional consequences.

► Reread the description of Heather’s behavior when she came to the Bible college. If you did not know Heather’s history, would her behavior give you clues that she may have experienced trauma? How would you respond?

As staff members consistently loved and cared for Heather, she began testing their boundaries. She would break a rule just to see how they responded. Would they abandon her if she made them angry? She needed proof that they were trustworthy and truly cared for her.

Heather also engaged in risky behaviors. She experienced frequent nightmares that forced her to relive past trauma. As a result, she was afraid to go to sleep. Sometimes she had difficulty eating. Much of the time, she seemed irritable and overreacted to problems.

Heather’s story illustrates some of the signs that a person has suffered trauma. These include: [1]

• Loss of safety. The world feels unpredictable and dangerous.

• Loss of trust. This is especially true if the abuser is a family member or a close friend.

• Shame. Even minor mistakes may trigger overwhelming shame. Adults may show this by refusing to admit when they are wrong.

• Loss of intimacy. Some survivors of sexual abuse avoid sexual relationships because sexual intimacy is associated with the pain of their abuse. For other survivors, sexual relationships may become a way to earn approval, because the child has learned that sex is a way to get the attention they need. Because of this, some survivors may take part in promiscuous sexual behavior.

• Dissociation. To cope with what is happening to their body during the abuse, a child may disconnect their mind from what is happening. Later, the child may use this strategy whenever he or she feels overwhelmed.

• Loss of sense of self. One of the roles of parents is to help their children discover their identity. If the abuser was a parent, then that sense of self is not well developed and can leave us feeling phony.

• Loss of self-worth. Trauma survivors can swing between feeling exaggerated positive beliefs about themselves and feeling dirty and bad.

• Reenactment. Survivors of trauma will sometimes recreate the childhood activity hoping for a different outcome.

Reactions to trauma may show up in a variety of ways. Each person is unique. Two people who experience the same trauma may respond in very different ways. Possible symptoms include:[2]

(1) Cognitive symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating.

• Memories reliving the painful event.

• Strong reactions to similar circumstances or reminders of the event.

• Intense feelings of guilt for surviving a traumatic event when others did not.

• Hopelessness about the future.

• Distorted beliefs based on one’s experiences.

(2) Emotional symptoms:

• Difficulty feeling emotions.

• Anger and sadness.

• A feeling of being constantly on guard to detect danger, even when the risk of danger is low.[3]

(3) Behavioral symptoms:

• Difficulty sleeping.

• Change in appetite—either overeating or eating much less than normal.

• Difficulty completing tasks.

• Either being overly cautious or taking excessive risks.

(4) Spiritual symptoms:

• Anger at God.

• Difficulty participating in worship.

(5) Relational symptoms:

• Withdrawal from meaningful conversations or activities. The person becomes disconnected from the important people in his or her life.

• Fear of being alone. The individual may need someone close to them at all times.

• Conflict in relationships.

No survivor of trauma will display all these symptoms. However, these patterns can alert a pastor to the presence of unresolved trauma.

► Which of these signs are evident in Heather’s story?

► How do these descriptions compare with individuals you know who have experienced trauma?

► Think about individuals you know who may exhibit some of these characteristics. How will this knowledge affect the way you interact with them or the way you interpret their actions?

For trauma survivors, one of the most important truths of the gospel is that they do not suffer alone. When we suffer, God is with us. In John 11:35, Jesus wept with those grieving at the tomb of Lazarus. Judges 2:18 tells us that God was moved with compassion by the groaning of his people. Scripture affirms that God sees and cares about our suffering.

The clearest demonstration of God’s presence in suffering is the incarnation. God sent his Son to suffer and die—to become Immanuel, “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Jesus is our High Priest who has endured the same kinds of suffering we face and who fully understands our weaknesses. Jesus knows what it means to suffer and even to feel abandoned. On the cross, he cried out, “…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Jesus understands what it means to endure trauma.

One night, Heather was overwhelmed with anger. The staff member working with her sensed that much of her anger was directed at God. The staff member encouraged Heather to speak honestly to God about her feelings. The next day, Heather described a powerful encounter with God during prayer. When she asked, “Where were you when these things happened to me?” God allowed her to feel his grief. She understood that God had been present—loving her and grieving with her—in her darkest moments. After that encounter, Heather began to change, and her faith deepened.

Some traumatic experiences leave wounds so deep that professional counseling is needed. As a pastor or church leader, you may need to refer someone to a professional counselor. But as ministers of God’s love, you can often give meaningful support to those who have gone through traumatic experiences.

To recover from trauma, the survivor needs to work through the following tasks:[1]

• Regaining a sense of empowerment and control of their life.

• Rebuilding trust and reconnecting with others in their community.

• Restoring a healthy sense of identity and self-worth.

• Acknowledging the trauma and seeking appropriate resolution.

► Choose one of the above tasks. What practical steps could you take to help a survivor accomplish this task? Discuss your responses as a class.

Please remember that you cannot fix a person. You must avoid becoming like Job’s friends, who tried to solve a problem that only God could solve. However, there are some practical steps you can take to help the survivor of trauma:[2]

• Listen carefully. Avoid quick solutions. Many times, a trauma survivor simply needs someone to be with them in their pain. Simplistic answers or religious clichés are usually unhelpful and may cause the person to stop listening to you.

• Provide information and answer questions honestly if they ask. If you do not know the answer, admit it. Offer to seek answers together.

• Don’t be afraid of their anger. Resist the urge to judge. Encourage them to bring their anger honestly to God. The psalms show that God is not threatened by intense emotion.

• Gently point out errors in their thinking when appropriate. It is hard to think clearly when grieving, and it is important to let a survivor of trauma grieve. Grief is an important part of the journey of healing.

You do not need to have all the answers. Often, there are no simple answers. Your calling is to be present, to walk patiently beside them in their pain, and to point them to Immanuel, the God who is with us.

During her years at Bible college, Heather gradually worked through the difficult process of recovery. She sought professional help from a Christian counselor. She began to trust the staff who cared for her. She developed a strong relationship with God and committed to trusting him fully with her life. With the support of a Christian community, Heather came to see that God truly loved her, had been present in her suffering, and would accomplish his good purposes in her life.

In time, Heather married a godly man and became the mother of two beautiful children. Although she later faced additional trials, her faith in God remained strong. When doubt resurfaced, she reached out to those who had walked with her during her years of healing. Heather’s life is a testimony to God’s grace and to the sustaining power of the body of Christ.

The world is filled with people who have experienced trauma. You may recognize yourself or someone close to you in this lesson. Never forget that there is hope and healing in Christ. The path to restoration is long and demanding. Healing does not look the same for every person and some scars may remain. But God can use you to help victims of trauma move towards healing.

Annabelle is a wife and mother who faithfully attends her church and serves in children’s ministry. Everyone, including Pastor Rick, was shocked to learn that she had tried to take her own life.

Church members asked Pastor Rick many questions. “Why would Annabelle feel so hopeless? Why didn’t she ask the church for help? What can we do to keep this from happening again?” Through this discussion, Pastor Rick began asking himself, “How can I be better prepared to help someone who may be thinking about suicide?”

Factors of Suicide

What might cause a person to consider suicide? It is important to understand that suicidal thoughts are often connected to deep unmet psychological needs. For example:

• Some people feel unloved, rejected, or isolated.

• Some feel they have lost control over their lives.

• Some believe their reputation or self-image has been ruined. They want to avoid shame or disgrace.

• Some have suffered broken relationships.

• Some struggle with intense anger or rage.

Warning Signs of Suicide

There are serious warning signs that a person may be thinking about suicide. These include:

• Talking about or writing about death or suicide.

• Threatening to harm or kill oneself.

• A worsening mental health condition.

• A sudden improvement in mood after a long period of depression.

• Looking for ways to carry out suicide.

• Reckless behavior, such as increased alcohol or drug use.

• Withdrawal from friends and family.

• Preparatory behavior, such as giving away possessions.

Understanding the Truth About Suicide

Many believers have false ideas about suicide. These myths may prevent a person from seeking help or hinder a pastor from recognizing danger.

Biblical Teaching Related to Suicide

The Bible teaches that every person is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27, James 3:9). Because of this, human life is sacred. Scripture forbids taking innocent life, including one’s own (Exodus 20:13). A pastor or counselor should offer hope to those struggling with thoughts of suicide.

Some people ask, “Is suicide a sinful act?” While suicide is never part of God’s design, we must recognize that emotional distress or mental illness may limit a person’s judgment. When comforting grieving family members, it is wise to remind them that God alone judges the heart. We do not have the responsibility to determine another person’s eternal destiny. Instead, we must entrust each soul to a God of perfect justice and mercy.

Strategies for Crisis Intervention

Crisis intervention is not long-term counseling; it is short-term support during a time of intense need. The goals of crisis intervention are to stop the psychological deterioration, to stabilize the person’s thoughts and emotions, to manage stress, and to either restore the individual to a functional level or to find help for further intervention. There are eight steps to meeting these goals.

1. Intervene quickly. Ask what happened and allow the person to share their story. Provide calm reassurance and encouragement.

2. Take action. People in crisis need to know that something is being done about the crisis. Help them see that steps are being taken to address the crisis. Decide what needs to be done now and what needs to be done later. Continue to listen and encourage them.

3. Prevent greater harm. Those in crisis need to have their balance restored. Help them to set small, achievable goals. Simply completing an action can provide relief.

4. Encourage hope. Offer realistic encouragement without making promises you cannot keep. When a counselor expresses belief in the capabilities of the individual, it can help them to be more optimistic.

5. Provide support. A lack of support often contributes to the development of a crisis. Identify the person’s support system. Learn who is available to help and how they can be reached.

6. Begin problem solving. When the causes of the crisis have been identified, help the individual to develop a plan to resolve the crisis. It is important that the plan include input and commitment from all participants.

7. Build self-esteem. Remind them of past challenges they have overcome. This can enhance their self-image.

8. Encourage self-reliance. A goal in counseling is to work yourself out of a job. Rather than fostering dependence upon the counselor, help the individual recognize that they can move forward successfully.

Strategies for Suicide Intervention

If you discover that someone is suicidal, you should follow a step-by-step protocol. These steps allow you to help the person through the immediate situation and point them to long-term help.

1. Establish a relationship and build trust. Thank them for being honest and reaching out for help. Show care and concern for their feelings.

2. Identify the problem. Listen to their story. Ask them to talk about what has led them to this point, what is bothering them at this moment, and what they have tried to do in the past. Ask if they have attempted suicide before. Ask directly if they have a specific plan for suicide.

3. Give immediate help. If they have a plan, take steps to disable the plan. For instance, if they have access to a weapon, they should give it to someone who can keep it safe. If they have access to prescription drugs, have them dispose of them. Ask them about their resources for receiving help. Help them find alternatives other than suicide. Commit to assist them in pursuing those options. Be available to help them through the immediate crisis.

► Sometimes these steps are not enough and the individual needs to be put in a place where they cannot attempt suicide. What resources are available in your community for someone who is considering suicide?

The story of Heather from earlier in this lesson has a happy ending. She found help, got married, and became the mother of a happy family. However, not every story ends happily in this life. Some people suffer the effects of trauma for the rest of their lives. These people need ongoing pastoral care.

One example of a believer who never recovered from trauma is the hymnwriter William Cowper. From a young age, Cowper suffered such severe depression that he would sit and stare out a window for days. He tried to take his own life more than once and was put in an asylum. While he was there, a Christian doctor led him to Christ.

Even after becoming a follower of Christ, Cowper struggled with chronic depression. Eventually, God brought William Cowper to the town of Olney, where John Newton, the writer of “Amazing Grace,” was pastoring. To help Cowper during this difficult time, Newton invited Cowper to live with him.

Newton realized that Cowper needed a healthy way to express his pain. Since Cowper was a poet, Newton suggested that they write hymns together. Over several years, they wrote more than 300 hymns including “God Moves in a Mysterious Way,” a song about God’s sovereignty, goodness, and trustworthiness in our suffering.

William Cowper battled depression for the rest of his life. However, it is likely that John Newton saved his life by caring for him during his darkest times. Like the Apostle Paul, Newton had received God’s comfort, and like Paul, he shared that same comfort with others (2 Corinthians 1:3–4).

We will end this lesson with an interview with parents who adopted two teenage children who had suffered long-term abuse and trauma. Because of their past, these children became physically violent towards their adoptive parents. This interview does not try to provide answers to the problems of trauma but is included to show pastors the types of problems and hurts that victims of trauma may face. Notice that in this situation, the teenagers were both victims of abuse and abusers of others. They responded to their own trauma by inflicting trauma on others.

Question: When you learned that your children had such severe emotional problems, how did you respond?

Mother: At first, I wondered, “Did we misunderstand the will of God?”

Father: For me, there was no way to go back, so it was a waste of energy to even think about the past.

Parents: With the help of other people, we learned that we are called to obey God. We do not have to worry about the outcome; we must just obey God.

Mother: I also wrestled with the question, “What is the nature of God?” I knew that bad things happen to everyone, but I still had to reconcile what was happening to me with what I believed about God.

I had to look at examples in the Bible. Job was righteous, but he suffered. There was the man who was born blind so that God could be glorified. I had to believe that God is good and loving, despite the suffering in our world.

Some of this goes back to free will. Some of what we went through with our kids was because of other people’s sins that affected them. It wasn’t our fault, and it wasn’t our kids’ fault either. They acted the way they acted because of the abuse and neglect they had endured. They were suffering the result of people’s sins, and now we were suffering the result of their pain. All this is the result of the fallen world and the sinfulness of other human beings.

Question: Was there a time when all of this suddenly came together for you? Or has it been a gradual growth in understanding?

Mother: I would say it was gradual. I did not question God’s role. And I felt like we were doing what we were supposed to do. But I had to decide, “Will this make me a better person or a bitter person?”

Father: We had to be very honest with each other as we walked through this.

Question: Did people say things that were not helpful to you?

Parents: Some people said, “God will not give you more than you can handle.” This is a myth. We learned that God does give you more than you can handle on your own. But he is with you in the storm.

Some people tried to portray us as saints for adopting traumatized children. This is not helpful. It ignores the pain of the adoption process. And it creates extra pressure on the parents by elevating them in an unhealthy way.

When you are in the middle of trauma, it is not helpful for someone to say, “This is building your character.” At the time, you don’t want to build character; you just want to get out of the trauma!

Question: What was helpful to you in this experience?

Parents: There was a Christian therapist who gave us a safe place to deal with our pain. She would listen without condemning what we said.

Another person who helped us was a pastor who came to be with us when our daughter was in the hospital. He said, “I don’t know what to say to you, but I am here to be with you.”

Then there were times when fellow believers helped us in practical ways: taking care of our yard, watching the children for an hour so we could have a short break, simple things.

Question: What lessons have you learned?

Mother: I love those kids so much. And it has helped me realize that the Bible picture of adoption is a picture of God’s love for us. Even when they are lashing out against me, I still love them. It shows me a beautiful picture of how God loves us and works to redeem us even when we are rebelling against him.

Father: It was painful when I would watch my children do things that were harmful. I would have to tell them “No,” even though it made them angry. It was impossible for our children to understand why I said, “No.” This helped me to see that God is doing what is for our good, even when we do not understand.

Mother: Through this experience, I have become more gracious and less judgmental. I realize that I don’t know what is going on in someone else’s life, so I need to extend grace to them.

Question: Is there anything that you would say to a pastor who wants to help a family going through trauma?

Parents: Don’t feel like you have to have an answer. Sometimes pastors can moralize everything instead of just being a real human being. It is also important to allow each person to process their trauma at their own speed. Don’t try to rush the process. The best thing a pastor can do is to simply be present with the family. Ask what they need and how you can help.

► Pray for people you know who have been through traumatic events or are still experiencing difficult situations. Pray that God will help you know how to bring Christ’s love and presence into the lives of those who are suffering.

(1) The purpose of this assignment is to find resources for professional care. Ask experienced pastors or church leaders in your community to recommend counselors who can assist people needing professional care. Along with other members of your class, create a list of professionals who can provide counseling. Keep this list for future needs in your ministry.

(2) Memorize 2 Corinthians 1:5–7. You will write or recite this scripture at the beginning of your next class.